Awhile ago I remembered what they taught us in swimming life saving. One of the first exercises was having our “Bo Derek” instructor jump off the boat and start thrashing around yelling “help! help!”, and as a young teenage boy I dove right in to rescue. When I got to her, thinking about how I was going to come up behind and throw my arm around her chest, she lunged for me and grabbed on tight. As we went flailing toward the bottom of the lake, I suddenly remembered her instruction to use my feet to push her away and swim up to catch my breath. You have to protect yourself or you both drown. It’s not easy to rescue a panicked swimmer. Or a depressed spouse.