The word is Freedom.

Three weeks on my own as of today, and so far it’s going pretty well under the circumstances.

On the one hand, I’m amazed at how I have “sprung into action” in several respects:

  • I opened my own bank account and applied for my own savings account.
  • I rearranged the house and made it the way I like it.
  • The pheasant pen out back in the woods is fairly complete, and my new chicks are settling in.
  • My old sled dog Frank seems livelier.
  • The garden and plants have all received good attention.
  • I have a list of about 20 things I want to do.
  • I booked a vacation on the beach in Jamaica.
  • I visited my mom and sister to let them know I’m fine.
  • I’ve talked to all my kids, and they’re all supportive.
  • I found a township cemetery in the country with plots for $300, and I Googled a site that told me how to make my own headstone.  (Not that I plan on passing on anytime soon, mind you.  But I’m making sure I decide how that whole process will be eventually handled.)
  • Reservations are made to camp at a state park next month, and I’ve invited a local acquaintance to park her camper there too.
  • I decided to work on paying off the house and retiring in 5 years.
  • I cleaned up the sailboat so it’s ready for the first good day on the lake.
  • I changed the message on the answering machine, and now only get messages from solicitors.  The house phone is set to not ring.

I’ve done lots of other things too, but I guess this list says that I am seeing this separation and eventual divorce as a good thing.  Oh, and I found a local jewelry artist that will take my old wedding ring and turn one of the Celtic knots into a stud earring.  When I polled Facebook friends, they all said “go for it”, and one (female) even said it would be terribly sexy; that whatever I chose to wear would always look good.  Positive strokes.

A big benefit is Freedom.  My time is my own, my actions are my own, my plans are my own, my body is my own, and my space is my own.  After 35 years of serial monogamy, this sets me back on a par with when I was in my early 20’s as far as independence goes.

And I’m a lot wiser than when I was in my 20’s, as most people are.  That is to say, things I “knew” then I really know now in a way that only experience and perspective can provide.

Statistics show that divorce for those over 50 has doubled in the last decade.  Have Boomers discovered that marriage isn’t necessarily a key to happiness?

2 thoughts on “The word is Freedom.

  1. Elizabeth, I think one of the dynamics of my personal situation that may make it different from most people is that she also moved out for the first time 4 years ago, but I moved then also and we seemed to reconcile. But since then it’s been an “accident waiting to happen”, so to speak, so I’ve had time to anticipate and mentally/spiritually adjust and prepare for what might possibly happen again. I’ve spent 4 years connecting to the Tao of my being, practicing Zen, and developing a greater capacity for compassion and mindfulness. So now all that gets put to a good test, and I’m moving on to the next phase, whatever that may be. I added yoga into the mix a few months ago to help sustain my physical being, and it’s been a great benefit. I feel like the time to come ahead of me will be the better portion of my life so far. I believe from your blog that you have the same courage. Good luck to you.

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