Sam Margulies

Excerpted from Chapter 3 of Sam’s FREE eBook, The Successful Divorcesam_margulies

What is the best way to tell your spouse you want a divorce? It will be helpful to you to understand the emotional process of divorce before you talk to your spouse.

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2 thoughts on “

  1. Hi. I followed your link but the author did now allow comments. So I will write mine here. The author writes about the fact that the ‘initiator’ has typically ‘had time to prepare for the divorce…….is usually well along or complete in the process of detachment and adjustment…. is finished’. He then states ‘the best way to tell your spouse you want a divorce’ is with ‘gentleness’ and ‘be clear that it is over’. Hmm. No choice it seems. I note that the author of that article did not give any advice to the ‘non-initiator’ except having to ‘learn to recognize and control strong emotions’. Now that is a gift – those ‘strong emotions’ never before experienced given to me by the departing spouse in the action of his parting.
    It is the taking away of choice that is the hardest cross to carry in this process and it seems there is more emphasis today on mediating the divorce process rather than mediating the marriage.

  2. Yeah, I wonder if the author was ever a non-initiator… One thing that struck me was the idea that they could likely have been working toward a professional degree. Bingo. I think they could have made up their mind years ago, and were waiting for conditions to be more beneficial. How can a person (me) be so fooled for so long? And why did I let it happen three times even? It has me thinking I have a hole in my head or something.

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