One month on my own!  I’m sure a month won’t seem so significant some time in the future, but for me it was time to briefly reflect.  In retrospect it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long.  Maybe because I was a bit in a fog or a time-warp or something.

It feels like a first significant hurdle, and it can’t be predicted what will come, but I feel good about it so far.

Some of what I consider to be accomplishments:

  • I made the house like I want it to be.  I cleaned, rearranged stuff, threw some stuff out.  I went around with touch-up paint and filled nail holes where certain pictures used to be.
  • I got my own bank account and credit card and put together my separate budget.  I setup the mortgage and other bills related to the house to come out of my separate account instead of the joint one.
  • I booked a cheap vacation for myself next December in Jamaica.
  • I bought my own cemetery plot.  I know, that’s a weird one, but I wanted to put some control over at least that part of my destiny…
  • I met a local Facebook friend in person, and we talked about going camping together.  She might even go on a road trip with me in a couple of months!  It’s good to have some companionship after being used to always living with someone for the last 35 years but often feeling alone.
  • I made a pen and am now raising some pheasant chicks in the woods in the back yard.  Just because I can.
  • I realized I actually like briefs better than boxers, so I bought some.
  • I have lost 12 pounds by eating the way I like to eat.

I’m starting to get a handle on “thinking for one”.  I’m in such a habit of factoring in someone else’s expectations on just about every decision I make.  I bought some fish and cooked it in the house and ate it (she wouldn’t stand for it).  I stayed up past 10 p.m. one night instead of going to bed at 8:00.  I watch all the nature flicks on TV that I want to.  I deleted all the Real Housewife settings on the DVR.

A lot of this is about me and I.  But that was significantly absent in the past.  A better balance will develop over time.

Thanks for listening.  Comments and feedback welcome.


4 thoughts on “Mileposts

  1. I can relate to all this. The little things are so important. The reclaiming of ‘me’ as opposed to ‘we’. I felt sad opening up our joint cheque book to write a cheque that very first week. But when the new one came with only my name there, when my new credit card came, it actually felt great! What a funny thing to feel great about! Yet it happens, those really weird little things to light up your spirit. You and I started blogging at about the same time so I am really relating to the things you are posting. However, I am actually a bit ahead as I am in real time at the 9 month mark now. I am still waiting for the ‘balance’. I had spent my life in a ‘balancing’ act of compromise and it all fell over. So I am still focusing on that ‘me’ bit for a little while longer…..

  2. I love it! The one about the boxes made me laugh out loud. I think those are pretty great accomplishments! Keep it up, and great post, very witty

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