How do you want your steak cooked?

It’s no wonder so many couples are sexually frustrated. If you can’t talk about what turns you on, then you can’t expect your lover to read your mind. After all, you wouldn’t dream of not telling a waiter how you like your steak cooked because you don’t want to ruin a good piece of meat, then why would you risk the demise of a good relationship by not talking about what you want in bed?

The best solution that I’ve found for overcoming any inhibition is to simply face it. It is my belief that you will always have regrets if you don’t overcome obstacles. A life with regrets is a life that has not fully been realized, experienced and enjoyed. If you can shed your inhibitions with the one you love, you will find a much stronger connection in your relationship. On the same note, if you can shed your inhibitions with yourself, you will have the opportunity to discover and explore parts of you that you may never have known existed.

Breaking Down the Walls

Becoming totally open and aware of your likes and dislikes is the first step to breaking down inhibition walls that may be standing in your way of experiencing complete intimate gratification. It can also help you to trust yourself and others on a level that maybe you have never imagined. When you know yourself and feel confident in what you expect of yourself and others, doors you may have never even known were there can open. Once new doors open, you then have more choices and the opportunity to expand your personal horizons.

Every day we wake up and most of us have a daily routine that we are used to and essentially play out as if it were the script to our life. Although this script has become our comfort zone, is one that we have memorized and followed, when we are engrossed in that routine it can pigeonhole us and in some cases rob us of a life filled with adventure, intrigue, and experience. Part of discovering and releasing inhibitions can offer an opportunity for to veer off that beaten path and just for a while escape from an everyday redundant routine. This is your chance to write your own script through direct knowledge of what makes you feel happy and excited. Break down the walls of predictability, make some positive changes and empower yourself because you are in control.


Boundaries empower us to determine how we’ll be treated by others so define your sexual and emotional boundaries by limiting what is safe and appropriate for you sexually and emotionally. For example, a sexual boundary could be that you don’t have intercourse on a first date and you never have intercourse without a condom. An emotional boundary could be that you never say, “I love you” to someone unless you really mean it. Boundaries also include who we interact with sexually and the consequences of that interaction both of which are your choices. Having boundaries can bring order to our lives and as we have a clear vision of our boundaries we can overcome our inhibitions too.

Just like inhibitions, boundaries are formed early on and we learn about them by the way that we are treated. We can teach our boundaries to others by refusing to hug someone, refusing to go all the way sexually or refusing to be emotionally abused by someone who is calling us names and being disrespectful. Once you allow someone to step over your personal boundaries, this is called boundary violation and it can become an endless cycle of emotional and physical pain. Consequently, I encourage everyone to set their own boundaries through self-awareness and knowledge. Here are some tips on how to accomplish that:

  • Be aware of what arouses you
  • Be knowledgeable about your body and its biological changes
  • Give yourself permission to surrender to pleasure because you are worthy of it
  • Take responsibility for your own orgasm; don’t expect someone to give it to you
  • Share your sexual turn ons with your lover
  • Communicate your wants, needs, desires and fears with your lover
  • Share your fantasies with your lover

via How To Overcome Inhibitions and Revel in Sexual Intimacy | Intent BlogIntent Blog.


One thought on “How do you want your steak cooked?

  1. Oh I absolutely could not agree more with this post if I’d written it myself! I began a long distance relationship 3 years ago and for the first two months we didn’t actually occupy the same space, we dated over the phone! Those were some of the best phone calls I’ve ever experienced! We were able to ask and answer important life and sex questions in a completely safe and non-threatening way. It’s actually the healthiest I’ve ever felt in a relationship!
    I was married for 20 years to someone I never felt as safe with or close to, neither one of us was able to express those important sexual things to the other…even after two kids.
    The man I’m seeing now, (the relationship that started on the phone) says, “if we’re willing to be naked together we should be able to talk about being naked.”
    Thanks for this great post, and for calling it like you see it!

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