Grandma Goes To Court

Grandma: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Grandma: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?

Grandma: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Grandma: No, I didn’t stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Grandma: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Grandma: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Grandma: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Grandma: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Grandma: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, “Take me, young man, Take me!”

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Grandma: Hell, no. That’s when he yelled, “April Fool!”…And that’s when I shot the son of a bitch!

via Grandma Goes to Court.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s