…leading to long, slow conversations


File:Old couple in love.jpg

Our culture is so focused on … youth, that we don’t have a good model for what aging and dying could be like. All we feel is the lack of things: we’re not as youthful as we were, we’re not as limber as we were, we’re not as this, we’re not as that. Almost everything that we hear and see in the media is about how to maintain your youth as long as possible. All this focus on stopping aging implies that someone made a big mistake in the universe. It’s as if we should be getting younger instead of older.

But we’re missing a very important point. There’s something beautiful about quiet and peace. There’s something beautiful about not trying to do anything, but simply, in some way, your heart joining  the whole world. There’s a time in life for building something up in this world: a family, an institution, a…

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How to make a long distance relationship work

The Relationship Master

Long Distance Relationships can be hard, and they often don’t work out. However, sometimes they do. Usually, this is after some nights or days have been spent together totally immersed in each other and a real lasting connection has been made. It’s much more than just surface level attraction.
It is not uncommon in today’s times to hear a story where people somehow ended up together, despite being half way across the country (or the world).

So how did they do it? How do they make it work? I’ll happily share.

Long Distance Relationships Take Work

1. You have to accept long distance relationships are tough. Plain and simple. No real way going around it. There’s obvious distance between you, emotions and jealousy can get in the way, and you’ll wonder about what they’re doing. Then there’s the whole physical frustration too. AND you can make it work. See more for some things you can…

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Did You Forget to Have Fun?

Any Shiny Thing

My sister asked, “If you had all the time in the world, and weren’t always working, what would you do for fun?”

I had to think. To me, work is fun. Always has been, even as a youngster. These days, writing, blogging, public speaking and hanging out on social media are my work and my hobbies. But those aren’t things I can do with a buddy on a Saturday.

Suddenly, I felt like Poindexter, always in the lab, hunched over another invention, cackling to myself.

Rallying, I told her I liked to go on field trips to gather dried plants, which I could then spray with metallic paint and use as decorations around my house. Calculating silently, I realized, but did not admit to her, that I hadn’t done that for at least fifteen years.

Two days later, Sis and I borrowed my husband’s truck and drove up to our local…

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My Husband Walked Into a Bar

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

My husband was out of town for business this past week.

As I’m winding down for the evening, I receive the following text:

Sitting at the bar of the steak house that I am at and there is a woman in her 70s who is cracking me up.

My response?

That’s the kind of woman I want you to pick up in bars:)

He chatted with this lady through the evening, sharing pieces of their conversation with me.

She was in her mid 70s and was recently widowed after being married for 50 years.

50 years.

With the same person.

And then they’re gone.


I remember how alien it was to be alone after 16 years.

But that’s a drop in the bucket.

My husband was drawn to this woman’s energy. She had made the decision to fully embrace this next chapter of her life, even though it wasn’t…

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Decision Point

I was contemplating many things, as I often do, on my way through the countryside on my way to work today.  I thought of taking the longer route and stopping by to see the plot I own at the Township Cemetery, but I was already late so I decided not to.

But the thought occurred to me that a useful perspective for decision-making would be to go to the cemetery and ask myself, “In retrospect, from your current point of view, what would you do?”  The answer came quickly, “Go for it, of course.  You don’t want to be where I am now and wish you had.  What if? – is an avoidable regret.”
Decision.  Point made.