Men and grief

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds

By Rick Belden

Male Grief: Invisible, Misunderstood, Unwanted

Grief is an inevitable part of every human life, regardless of gender. It is also one of the great isolating forces in the lives of men. Male grief is all too often invisible, misunderstood, and unwanted, which leaves many men in the difficult position of having to deal with their grief on their own, if they deal with it at all.

Most men (myself included) routinely reject vital aspects of themselves and their histories because they do not want, or do not know how, to feel and move through the grief that is bound up and waiting inside them. The fear of being shamed by another when most vulnerable, of being stripped of one’s masculinity by women as well as by other men, is a powerful motivation not to feel and express one’s grief.

The requirement to go into that grief all…

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