In a few days I’ll probably appreciate it a bit more, but for now I’m simply quietly celebrating inside. Today my bank is remitting the last payment under the divorce settlement to my ex. No further obligation exists under the agreement. After 30 years of work, I can now hurry up and pay off the mortgage so I can afford to retire and manage living expenses with a Social Security income.
I don’t seriously regret much of the past 3 decades and the 3 marriages over that time span, although I have to say it’s been expensive. I have 4 great kids and 2 grandkids, and I helped raise 4 stepkids and a bunch of foster kids. The rhythm of life seemed to dance between wonderful, horrible, and then resting in OK for awhile before it started all over again. I’m guessing it just might continue that way, but maybe not.
Maybe I can start to let my foot off the gas now and not be so anxious about the future. I have a lazy dog for a companion, and a wonderful girlfriend to spend pleasant moments together with. I’m teaching myself how to cook, and joined a fitness center. I can keep warm in the sauna in the winter, garden and cut grass in the summer.
With any luck, the next 30 years can be even better than the last 30. Less expensive at least.